Dateline April 1, 2012. Austin TX.
Today WP Engine proudly announces a new WordPress page-caching technology which actually delivers pages before the user clicks the link!
In a joint venture with CERN, WP Engine has developed a TCP/IP layer on top of a faster-than-light neutrino beam, delivering page content in negative time. Page state and web analytics is preserved forward in time using quantum-entangled cookies.
For more details, and to see how much faster your WordPress site would be using our technology, please click this announcement and sign-up form.
Congrats to the whole team! I knew you could do it. At least, after you built it today, I then had known you would do it tomorrow.