My simple ways to be a happier, smarter 30-something

Do this stuff, and I guarantee you will literally be happier, smarter, more productive, live longer, and most importantly you will not feel like you’re missing out on life.

Don’t eat anything that’s nasty at room temperature. It’s OK if it’s not ideal at room temperature, it just needs to be not nasty. Real ice cream is melted at room temperature, but it’s cream and sugar; not gross. But if a Wendy’s Frosty melts, it’s weird. If fast-food french fries are cold, they’re suddenly not even food. That’s because they never were food.

Only have 1-2 drinks/hour. What’s fun about drinking? (a) forget problems, (b) be more social, (c) feels good, (d) laugh more, (e) easier to get laid. What’s not fun about drinking? (a) hangovers, (b) vomiting, (c) messed up sleep, (d) doing something regretful, (e) kill brain cells, (f) expensive. Now realize: maintaining a steady buzz gets you 100% of the good stuff and 0% of the bad stuff. Going past “buzzed” is dumb. Either save your money, or spend more on better quality stuff, and drink less of it.

Pay attention to how you feel after eating something. Everyone’s body reacts differently to foods, so just pay attention. Do you feel energized or lethargic? Bloated or tight? Hungry in 4-6 hours (good) or not hungry after 8 hours? Then act accordingly.

It probably isn’t that good; save it for next time. Unless you’re at a great restaurant, every item on the menu is not as good as it sounds. The burger is probably not as tasty but still 1500 calories. The enchiladas are probably not amazing but 1500 calories. The rice and beans are probably not something you’ll remember in an hour but they’re 750 calories.

So don’t waste the calories. Get something smaller and/or healthier. Save up for the next meal which you might enjoy more, or might come with a drink, or anything.

Don’t drink soda, not even diet, and minimize HFCS. If you stop drinking soda for three weeks and then have one, it’ll taste like nasty chemicals. That’s because it is nasty chemicals. Same thing goes for high fructose corn syrup — you’ll find not only that foods heavy in HFCS taste weird, you’ll find they taste the same as each other. Bizarre. “Bizarre” isn’t the sort of adjective you want describing things you stuff into your body.

Eat a full serving of veggies daily. You should be eating one serving per meal, but if you don’t have the fortitude, you can at least agree that eating no vegetables at all in a day is ridiculous. Getting it at lunch is often easiest, because you can pack it or pick it at the restaurant. Especially if it’s a working or meeting lunch, you probably won’t notice the food much anyway, so get a salad and don’t use much dressing.

20 x 3 cardio makes you happier and smarter. Three times a week, get your heart rate elevated for twenty minutes. It’s idiotic to say “I don’t have time” to spend a total of one hour per week for the benefits:

• It releases endorphins and makes you happier for the next few days. I notice mood changes dependent on whether I’ve exercised in the past 48 hours. Happiness is the point of life. Few things automatically make you happier; this is one.
• Study after study shows it feeds the brain. You do better on tests psychologists invent, which also means you’ll improve at tweeting and writing code and blog posts and pictures and support tickets and crossword puzzles.
• New studies show exercise grows new brain cells. Good, that counteracts the ones you killed with Jågermeister.
• Your metabolism goes up so you can eat and drink more. Fun!
• Maybe you won’t die of heart disease, the most common cause of death in the Western world.

Don’t drink on the same day that you exercise. Let your body repair. Eating more than usual, even bad stuff, is better than drinking and bringing down your metabolism and getting less sleep. You’ll wake up the next day less bloated.

Don’t drink more than the Aspirin bottle says. Every bottle of medicine in your house says to consult a doctor if you have three or more drinks a day. So drink less than that.

Sleep enough. Cramming a few hours more work into a day, after you’re already tired, costs you 50% productivity over the next day or two. Obviously not worth the trade, just on the basis of pure productivity. Then there’s the health and psychological benefits of sleep which surely you’ve heard about by now. Stop ignoring the facts.

Eat lots of protein and no carbs for breakfast, within an hour of waking up. You’ll feel awesome and not bloated. Some people say to eat this way always. Maybe, but even just for first meal it’s amazing.

I’m sure you have more ideas: Let’s add more to the comments!